feelings?
I had lunch with a friend today. It is always a great time. We talked about heaps of stuff and I always appreciate his perspective, as he is a little further from the Church than some of my other friends. One of his observations has been rattling in my head since. We spoke about how it seems that some people don’t recognise Ministers as people with feelings.
When angry, some people seem to think that they can say things to a minister words that they would never say to someone who wasn’t in that role. It is, as if the minister is just a role and not a person. If the shoe was on the other foot, and it was the minister who used such words and ignored the other persons feeling would find themselves called to account pretty quickly. But, at times it seems as if we think in the Church it is the role of the minister to suffer such attacks and words.
I am a minister and I have experienced such attacks. Maybe, it would be better if this comment came from a non-minister, but let me say this is wrong. Ministers are human, people with feelings and are just as prone to mistakes as others.
Maybe I need a holiday!
August 26th, 2003 at 11:20 pm
been there… agree 100%!
I am still wondering how it is that we have been percieved as such - is it our own fault?
not sure…
August 26th, 2003 at 11:58 pm
hamo makes an interesting point, though I’d say it’s the whole system that contributes, not just the minister. It’s our job to be that “calm, non-anxious presence” and sometimes I think that makes people think we are something other than human. And for a few it may become an unconscious challenge. (How can I get the minister mad?!)
I also think it has to do with an unconscious sense of safety that the role encourages in our congregations. I mean, would you come to Sunday service willing to have your whole life changed if the minister was just an ordinary person? (Some of us would, I know, but many people need the distance in order to risk trusting…)
It still stinks.
September 28th, 2004 at 2:15 pm
I think it is two-edged sword…people feel free to say things to their minister because they (usually) feel safe enough with them. They think that as the minister is the “representative of God” (please dont get me started on that topic!!), they will have the grace, compassion, mercy and insight to know that
a) they are right
b) they are wrong but were just spouting but is ok cause “you’ll forgive me”
they hope that the minister sees their intention, which is, for the most part, for good.
Its amazing though that people actually believe that ministers are thicker skinned than others when really, if they are legitimately called, they are more sensitive.
A lot of ministers have the tendency to create an “us and them” mentality (for lots of different reasons including noble ones) which unfortunately means that in effect they do bring it on themselves. Shame really, cause they dont deserve it.