being like the rev
A while ago, Phil and I had discussed this post from the rev about witnessing a fight on the side of the road as he was driving past and deciding to intervene. We were impressed by his courage and spontaneous response, but even more by a writer who casually includes sentences in a blog post like these:
He is pacing back and forth, and I am trying to figure out what to do, but also realizing, I need to decide fast. Do I watch and allow another assault, or do I choke someone unconscious to protect someone who may be a pedofile? I didn’t really want to do either.
You see, it is impressive because we agreed in the same situation that, not being scary fighters like the rev, we would not have the option of choking someone unconscious in our arsenal of responses. In such a situation, this could limit our ability to effectively respond.
Little did we know that we would have the opportunity to experience this close hand (I should warn at this point if you are expecting a really exciting and dramatic story like john’s, don’t get your hopes up because it is pretty anti-climactic).
We have a weekender about an hour out of the city and have the habit of heading down late in the week and returning on Sunday morning before church. One Sunday morning a month or so back we are driving along the freeway outside of Dandenong when we see two cars in front of us pulled over to the side of the road with a guy hopping out of each car. We assumed at first glance that they were travelling together and were stopping to compare maps or look at the stars or whatever it is that testosteroney people do when they refuse to look at maps to determine where they are going. Our assumption was rudely rebutted just as we pass them on the road as they both commence raining blows on each other.
I must say that, perhaps inappropriately, I have always found amateur fighters to look pretty ridiculous when they start hitting each other. I mean, it is meant to be a scary and intimidating moment, but these fellas generally looked like they were unable to coordinate their limbs properly and were conducting some weird form of calisthenics. Notwithstanding their ridiculousness, they were clearly laying into each other.
So Phil and I conducted a hasty conference in our car debating whether we should chuck a u-ey and go and intervene. We didn’t have young daughters in the car (except for our dog) but there was the little matter that we were in the car and clearly incapable of engaging in any way with people throwing fists, no matter how uncoordinated. Inspired by the memory of the rev’s post (we actually discussed this) we turned around with the heroic plan that we would park behind the fighting individuals, honk the horn and show them that we were using our mobile phones (with the hope that they would infer we were calling the cops). According to our plan, this would hopefully be sufficient to scare one or both of them off, allowing us the opportunity to render any assistance to the one who had got the worst of it.
Admittedly, this wasn’t the bravest plan and didn’t include even the possibility that we would be choking anyone unconscious. But we only had a small amount of time to come up with a response and only limited weaponry or defence amory in the car.
So, fortified by our bravery and positive self-talk, we come around to the site of the fracas to find that the participants had presumably resolved their differences because they had buggered. Given that it took us all of 30 seconds to conduct our negotiations and re-orient ourselves, it had to have been a remarkably short brawl, but we were pleased that our quick thinking had resulted in the conflict being resolved (it followed, therefore it was caused by, or more impressively post hoc ergo proctor hoc).
August 15th, 2005 at 3:41 pm
I might explain here that choking people unconscious results in them waking up a minute later not knowing what happened, but not cut, concussed or contused. The rev may be a big scary man, but he doesn’t like to hurt others. The techniques he would apply in this situation are basically very deep and effective control techniques. He is a very kind and gentle man, who loves all of God’s creatures and wishes them peace,love and Jesus.
the rev’s mom
August 15th, 2005 at 3:43 pm
Oh, and one other thing. Phil told me about this episode when we had breakfast a few weeks ago. Thank you for caring enough to risk your own safety, or even the wasting of you precious time, to stop some idiots from hurting each other. Good on ya Dannie. Well done mate
the rev
August 15th, 2005 at 4:37 pm
No problems, it was just a little deflating that after all our excitement at being involved in street-side fight just like you, it ended up being so pathetic. It did however break us out of our normal routine at 8:15am on a Sunday. Even just reading this is making me giggle all the more.
August 15th, 2005 at 7:12 pm
I reckon the rev should give mere mortals like us ‘how to choke people’ lessons so we can intervene with real skill!
Goodonya guys for not turning a blind eye.
August 16th, 2005 at 1:02 am
Living and ministering in an inner city neighbourhood, I find myself confronted with these kinds of situations a couple times of week (at least). As I am also very committed to non-violence, I also struggled with how to respond. Recently, things looked like they were going to escalate, as a group of Neo-Nazi skinheads moved to the block However, in the end, I have yet to use physical force (thank God).
Since moving here, my commitment to non-violence has been deeply challenged. Not that I would ever abandon it, but more in examining the nature of it. When you see a 15 year old, 8 month pregnant teen walk into the house next door to prostitute herself, stumbling out 30 minutes later completely high, you begin to wonder if you’d be willing to throw yourself on God’s grace and beat the living snot out of the dealers and pimps there.
I have no good answers for this dialogue. I am just glad we are talking about it at all. Way to go for turning around. Willingness to get involved is the most important step. And I promise, if you keep your eyes an hearts open, you will get other opportunities and that 30 seconds will shrink every time.
Peace,
Jamie Arpin-Ricci
August 16th, 2005 at 9:16 am
Good on you Jamie. I often cop flack for being violent. I ofcourse don’t look at it that way, I look at it like I play a sport, a dangeous sport that is fun because of the danger.
I actually think of my sleeper holds as a way to protect someone without hurting someone else. I know you may still have a problem with that, but I have made a comittment never to use my art in anger.
the rev
August 16th, 2005 at 9:52 am
Rev, actually, the sleeper can be a very appropriate technique (though I have never dared it). It is more restraintive than aggresive. So, depending on circumstances, you’ll get no flack from me (wink wink).
Peace,
Jamie
August 16th, 2005 at 10:30 am
It has to be done very well as it needs to come on fast, and not damage the trachea. Luckily I know about a hundred different ways to apply sleep holds, from a number of different positions. Hurting people is something that I would not need to do.
the rev
August 17th, 2005 at 1:28 pm
To the Rev I say…You do what you’ve gotta do. You know what you’re doing and why…fullstop. Some of us would merely add to the problem by engaging physically so another tact might be advisable.
Recently at 4am, a Commodore was trashed into my front tree….engine still racing I raced outside in barely no clothes …no shoes… to see a ‘hoodlem’ standinging next to the car which was still peak revving. I snuck back inside and grabbed the torch and raced back outside…. the fella had taken off. Feeling quite scared and alone I was compelled to give chase in the direction I thought he fled. Barefoot and in my jocks , armed to the teeth with a torch I realised’ “What the hell am I doing? …what do I do if I catch these guys anyway?” He/they disappeared into the night and I started back to the totally written off vehicle. It was till peak revving. To my horror there were two guys slumped in what remained of the front seat.
I had really done the wrong thing. I saw a guy and assumed he had stolen and trashed a car when it was an accident. They both survived although one was in a coma for a week and will have ongoing problems.
I only share it as its still fresh in my mind and I know what you mean Dan, about stressing to act quick…where you perceive danger. And even though I’m 6 foot 8, I ‘ve never been in a fight nor would want to and yet as a Christian I feel sometimes less of a man because we are ‘peaceful creatures’ or bloody weak! I feel compelled to rise to the occassion to defend or save but would probably go down in a screaming heap…who knows!
Its a blokey thing I may never get over either. I kinda wish I could have that cool “Rev” controlled strength and training. But I don’t, yet running the other way in such circumstances just seems wrong.
August 17th, 2005 at 3:57 pm
Ofcourse, we must do what we can do. I have more skills and training and natural giftings in this scenario. Just like some have more money, administrative skills and what have you to have more options when it comes to ministering to the homeless bloke begging for change. However, I am not excused from action because I am less qualified. It is cool how God often used us even though we are the least qualified.
the rev
August 25th, 2005 at 2:52 am
Speaking of burly he-men….
Melbourne church Crossway Baptist has an interesting speaker coming up this weekend.
http://www.crossway.org.au/templates/cuscrossway/details.asp?id=20315&PG=Events&LID=&CID=362690&func=&mast=
I wonder if, in the interests of the church being upfront and honest, and allowing people to make up their own minds about visiting speakers, I wonder if it will be disclosed to the people going to hear Tom Papania that, ummmmm……well, oh heck, just type the words ‘Tom Papania’ and ‘fraud’ into google, and see what you come up with.
Tom may well be genuine, but I’d be covering my arse with truckloads of Sorbent if I were Crossway.
October 2nd, 2005 at 12:41 pm
Just go read what we have on Papania on our website. And its all true and from US governments documents we obtained directly from the various US government departments Go to http://www.tompapania.info
If you spend the time to read through it you will see hes nothng but a lying conman who rips people off with his lies
January 29th, 2006 at 9:41 am
[…] to happen on Sunday mornings as we are driving back from our weekender before church (like this adventure). Maybe it is the fact that we are up early and dri […]
September 25th, 2006 at 12:46 pm
[…] So the other day we kind of got in the middle of someone else’s domestic, the details of which aren’t important. But talking about it later, we reflected that our experiences at Northern Community have changed us a bit. We didn’t hesitate to get involved in an intense situation where once we might have. And standing in front of a shirtless guy covered in tattoos bleeding from his hand (where he had punched a wall) while Phil tried to calm down a heavily pregnant woman having a panic attack, it occurred to me that what we consider ”normal” in our lives has changed quite a bit. […]