Open thread competition
Regular commenter Luke asked today whether it would be possible to have a thread on signposts which did not devolve into a discussion of homosexuality or the inerrancy of the bible. Well, it is an interesting question.
So here is the deal - one thread. Any topic is allowed, but no discussion on homosexuality (including shadow side commentary on pride and haughtiness), and no discussion on inerrancy of the bible, the bible as word of God etc. Any commenter who breaches these guidelines in either substance or intent will be eliminated. It is my pure discretion as to whether a breach has occurred (although, being the contrary sort that I am, I may choose to allow things that amuse me) so I advise you to steer well clear of any gray area. In order to be eligible for the prize, commenters must comment at least five times in a substantive manner (that is, “me too” comments and similar will be discounted at the pure and irrational discretion of the moderators). The moderators are not eligible to win the prize but may participate on the thread.
The rules of this thread do not affect comments on any other thread, but if you forget where you are, then you are GAWN. Eliminated commenters may continue to comment, but will not be eligible for prizes.
The competition will be closed when I announce that it is over. I will not announce that the competition is over while this post remains on the front page of signposts and while at least two people remain in regular discussion on the thread. Or alternatively I will announce the competition is over when it fails spectacularly or when I get sick of it.
The winner will be determined by me at my sole discretion (although I will tolerate input from phil). The winner will be the eligible commenter who shows in this thread to be the best combination of witty, thoughtful, insightful, vulnerable, honest and any other quality I find endearing. The prizewinner or prizewinners (depending on how many people I like) will upon supplying me with a valid mailing address receive the most horrendous collection of kitsch and crap christian trinkets that I can be bothered finding. Notable possibilities include a prayer of jabez g-string or the bumper sticker which phil forced me to remove from the car after just a couple of hours which read “Warning! In the event of rapture, driver may disappear!!”
I miss that bumper sticker.
Anyway, our most commented thread has amassed 497 comments to date so that is something to aim for. Special encouragement for lurkers to make a comment to let us know who you are, where you come from and so on.
Suggested topics - the Latham diaries, global warming, compulsory voting, the NZ elections, the union movement (that one’s for you Alan), practical ideas for mainstream church people to connect with and minister to people unlike them with out being condescending, advance thoughts about the movie Serenity and just about anything you can think of.
Let the games begin!!
October 5th, 2005 at 11:05 am
I guess, having asked this question, I should answer it myself
Being Catholic is different to many other experiences, in the the Mass has a level of sameness to it from church to church that other denominations would not find. However, the church I attend chooses to focus on the practical things of God, which I enjoy. And it understands that being a community of Christ is just as important as our individual “walks” (to use a wanky Christian phrase).
Our church is often unpopular with our Bishop, who favours pamphlets on the evils of condoms over soup kitchens, or so it seems. But it is wonderful to part of a community that believes in grace over condemnation.
October 5th, 2005 at 11:14 am
I guess, having asked this question, I should answer it myself
Being Catholic is different to many other experiences, in the the Mass has a level of sameness to it from church to church that other denominations would not find. However, the church I attend chooses to focus on the practical things of God, which I enjoy. And it understands that being a community of Christ is just as important as our individual “walks” (to use a wanky Christian phrase).
Our church is often unpopular with our Bishop, who favours pamphlets on the evils of condoms over soup kitchens, or so it seems. But it is wonderful to part of a community that believes in grace over condemnation.
October 5th, 2005 at 2:14 pm
[…] ngs So I went to Word today in a bit of a search for Christian stuff to give away for this thread. People must buy some whacky stuff. The bumper s […]
October 5th, 2005 at 2:30 pm
I go to the church I do because I fall asleep in lectures / sermons too, and at Northern I don’t have to listen to any lectures but instead get to discuss stuff without having to worry about whether someone disagrees with me (because that’s okay, not because we all think the same) and listen to other people’s takes on issues.
Dan, why didn’t I qualify for a cool bumper sticker?
sulk
October 5th, 2005 at 3:06 pm
Laura,
Yes well, posting five one sentence posts in a blatant attempt to qualify is not really entering into the spirit of things. But because I am a big hearted softie, if you continue to play nice in this thread, you will qualify for the bumper sticker largesse.
October 5th, 2005 at 3:10 pm
Ok - next topic. Anything but homosexuality, please.
October 5th, 2005 at 3:35 pm
I think Homer should get the Christian crap, because the bible says we’re supposed to repay evil with good.
October 5th, 2005 at 3:37 pm
No no…think about it…isn’t Jesus’ sacrifice a free gift that none of us deserve?
I think as a practical demonstration of this, Homer should get the crap, because he’s done nothing to deserve it.
October 5th, 2005 at 3:38 pm
A new topic?
How about “favourite” Christian kitsch?
Having been brought up in a Christian family & therefore exposed to Christian shops for some time, I’ve seen many a fad over the decades:
Big pins that read “I’m a Jesus People” in the late 70’s
Bumber stickers that read “Honk if you love Jesus” or “Forgiven, not perfect” in the 80’s
“What would Jesus do?”(WWJD) stickers, braclets…everything (probably even tattoos!) - in the 90’s
Prayer of Jabez ornaments, plaques, books, necklaces etc in
the noughties.
Any other cringe worthy mementos guys?
October 5th, 2005 at 3:45 pm
98.5 Sonshine FM ‘pure stereo’ stickers?
(Little known fact of the day - The announcers back in the early 90’s were told NOT to say ‘IN PURE stereo’ because it sounded too much like ‘impure stereo’.
October 5th, 2005 at 4:09 pm
How about the worst piece of christian crap that you have owned. I had a pair of christian t-shirts as a teen that I was quite proud of. One of them had the “Do not conform to this world but be transformed” verse along with a picture of a whole bunch of ugly colourful fish swimming one way, while a pure white christian fish swam the other.
Geddit? Swimming against the stream? Gold.
October 5th, 2005 at 4:10 pm
Well, that was because I don’t get on the net every day and I found the post and suddenly realised that I had to play catch up.
I don’t know much interesting christian kitsch. I mean, there’s always the bookmarks with bible verses, wall hangings and stuff. In Holland we had lots of teen christian magazines with inspirational one-liners, stories with testaments in them and special real life articles asking young christian couples why they waited till marriage.
Of course, if you find the landover baptist site, it gives christian kitsch a whole new meaning http://www.landoverbaptist.org/ You can buy a “What would Jesus do?” thong or an “Intelligunt desine” t shirt. Fun for the whole family.
October 5th, 2005 at 4:10 pm
I meant testimonys not testaments obviously
October 6th, 2005 at 2:40 pm
Tried listening to 103.2 Sydney just then. Two and a half songs later, I changed the channel. Urgh! They are lucky that God is forgiving; I’d hate to have that crap played in my name!
As to churches; I am soon moving near Ulladulla; does any-one know of a decent church there?
October 8th, 2005 at 5:28 pm
Bumpity bump bump bump.
Dan, given the popularity of That Thread, and the speed with which interest in this thread faded, I suspect Luke’s question has been answered in the negative.;)
October 8th, 2005 at 9:03 pm
I owned a t shirt that said, “hells not a party, its a barbeque and you don’t want to be invited” and had people falling through the grates of a barbeque into the flames beneath.
In my own defense I would never wear it, and it was a Christmas present from my inlaws.
What is the most horrible CHristian thing that you guys actually like?
Mine would be the Carmen song about Lazarous. I hate myself for liking that song.
the rev
October 8th, 2005 at 11:54 pm
Carmen huh - Well Rev he was in our town just last year. sang 4 songs in 2 hours and took up 2 offerings. It had the “get the money and run” atmosphere written all over it. Oh and I think he may have mentioned that he was on TBN at least once…. or maybe it was a thousand times.
How about The steve Miller band goes on a “Christian Tour”
this here’s the story bout Billy Joe and Bobby Sue
Two young psuedo-evangelists with nothin’ better to do
Than sit around a church make people cry and get the blues
And here is what happened when they decided to cut loose
They headed down to, ooh, old El Paso
That’s where they ran into a great big hassle
Billy Joe got on TV started buidin’ his castle
Bobbie Sue took the money and run
Go on take the money and run
Go on take the money and run
Go on take the money and run
Go on take the money and run
October 8th, 2005 at 11:59 pm
my 4 basic rules of life that have never been proven wrong
1. You don’t get something for nothing
2. You get what you pay for
3. There is no such thing as a free lunch
4 When they tell you, “it’s not about the money”.. It’s ABOUT the money
October 9th, 2005 at 8:10 am
Dan-
You didn’t happen to give that T-shirt with the fish to Hamo, did you?
October 9th, 2005 at 10:52 am
Rev, I know exactly the song that you mean - Lazarus, Come Forth!! In a different phase of my life I had a illegally bootlegged Carmen tape that I LOVED.
Justin, no. Unfortunately the shirt disintegrated due to being worn too much to hip Christian events, otherwise I would give it to Hamo to copy for a logo.
October 9th, 2005 at 6:51 pm
Well Dan, I checked out the site you got your religious bendable people from, I don’t know whether to laugh or cry, they sell
”The Pumpkin Prayer” Laminated Bookmark (NKJV) with FREE Smarties Candy
The Left Behind board-game where “Correct answers during the pre-rapture section earn redemption tokens, which are of great value once post-rapture play begins.”
There is a fish shaped American flag with the words “Not Just An American but Also A Christian.”
Our resident fundementalists will like this one, a t-shirt with the words “Narrow-Minded” proudly emblazoned across the front. “Is being narrow minded a bad thing? Not if you’re looking for the road that leads to life! Change Your Shirt! Change Your World”
October 10th, 2005 at 7:55 am
Christian guilty pleasure? come on guys, what is it?
the rev
October 10th, 2005 at 9:28 am
Okay, Christian guilty pleasure is totally the Frank E Peretti books This Present Darkness and Piercing the Darkness. As a teenager they convinced me that the air was swimming with unseen demons and angels.
Re-reading them now they are still rollicking good tales, but tend to lean a fair bit on the Tim Le Haye school of character assassination about psychology/meditation/mysticism in the same way that Left Behind assassinates the UN and Jews.
October 10th, 2005 at 9:48 am
As a pre-teen I really got into the Christian rock bands that were popular at the time. Does anyone remember “White heart”? (I think they were called). I have a sneaking suspicion that if I managed to find the cassettes in my garage I’d still enjoy them.
Now I want to listen to them again just to see.
I also loved some Christian fiction. I remember reading an old book of my mums (which she had in her teens), called “In all these things” about a young woman who was converted and while she was handing out christian tracts on a street corner, she met a really cute, wealthy guy, who fell for her, despite the fact that she immediately made him come to church. He quit smoking and some other bad stuff but wasn’t converted. He proposed but she said a heartbroken “no” because she couldn’t be united with the dark. Then he went off the rails, drinking and gambling, and eventually became blind (can’t remember how), but also became a christian. She managed to convert her dad, and he said he’d committed a fraud and tried to pay it back so they went bankrupt. Anyway, she married the blind boyfriend and they went to be missionaries I think in the end. It was very moving and romantic!
(Hangs head in shame)
October 10th, 2005 at 11:11 am
those are good ones
the rev
October 10th, 2005 at 12:58 pm
Since this is an open thread…
someone just asked me:
“why are conversion and proselytizing so important to Evangelical Christianity?”
Theological AND cultural explanations most welcome!
October 10th, 2005 at 3:12 pm
I don’t know if this is an answer to the question, but it is a curiosity. The “evangelism” type literature which tends to be used in churches is overwhelmingly American. Which is fine, except that it doesn’t take account of the fact that the US has a totally different culture than Oz when it comes to public displays of faith. There is a huge difference between a country whose president intones “God Bless America” every five minutes as compared to one where people question whether Christians should be involved in politics at all.
So I recally reading “Contagious Christianity” and realising that many of the suggestions were just laughable when applied to Oz Culture (”Perhaps when borrowing or returning garden tools from a neighbour you can turn the conversation to whether or not he/she believes in God”).
And I think that churches get the guilts over it. The “best literature” is saying to do evangelism in a certain way, so people follow that advice and it basically leads to disaster because it is so foreign to the culture.
October 11th, 2005 at 9:50 am
I don’t know how I’d respond if someone tried to convert me while borrowing gardening tools! I’m still giggling at the thought. At least when a Jehovah’s witness knocks on the door, you know what’s coming.
October 11th, 2005 at 9:59 am
I look at it like this, Jesus is my friend, and the most important influence in my life, as well as being the greatest example we have actually showing us the way to the Father. In the same way I would want to introduce my friend Phil, to my friend Nick, I want to introduce others to Jesus.
But I look at two things, one is the relationship with the person. I don’t do cold calling.
The second is, I try to express Jesus through my life, and in words that people understand. I reckon I am particularly good at it, as I try and help others understand how I do it, and they usually don’t get it. My thought is, my faith and my life are intertwined, there is no dichotomy, so my faith should come out no matter what I am doing. Even when I play cricket my faith will show.
the rev
October 11th, 2005 at 10:42 am
A lot of the people that I come into contact with are perfectly open talking about god and religion - but they certainly do not respond well to the “do you have jesus in your life” question.