Open thread competition
Regular commenter Luke asked today whether it would be possible to have a thread on signposts which did not devolve into a discussion of homosexuality or the inerrancy of the bible. Well, it is an interesting question.
So here is the deal - one thread. Any topic is allowed, but no discussion on homosexuality (including shadow side commentary on pride and haughtiness), and no discussion on inerrancy of the bible, the bible as word of God etc. Any commenter who breaches these guidelines in either substance or intent will be eliminated. It is my pure discretion as to whether a breach has occurred (although, being the contrary sort that I am, I may choose to allow things that amuse me) so I advise you to steer well clear of any gray area. In order to be eligible for the prize, commenters must comment at least five times in a substantive manner (that is, “me too” comments and similar will be discounted at the pure and irrational discretion of the moderators). The moderators are not eligible to win the prize but may participate on the thread.
The rules of this thread do not affect comments on any other thread, but if you forget where you are, then you are GAWN. Eliminated commenters may continue to comment, but will not be eligible for prizes.
The competition will be closed when I announce that it is over. I will not announce that the competition is over while this post remains on the front page of signposts and while at least two people remain in regular discussion on the thread. Or alternatively I will announce the competition is over when it fails spectacularly or when I get sick of it.
The winner will be determined by me at my sole discretion (although I will tolerate input from phil). The winner will be the eligible commenter who shows in this thread to be the best combination of witty, thoughtful, insightful, vulnerable, honest and any other quality I find endearing. The prizewinner or prizewinners (depending on how many people I like) will upon supplying me with a valid mailing address receive the most horrendous collection of kitsch and crap christian trinkets that I can be bothered finding. Notable possibilities include a prayer of jabez g-string or the bumper sticker which phil forced me to remove from the car after just a couple of hours which read “Warning! In the event of rapture, driver may disappear!!”
I miss that bumper sticker.
Anyway, our most commented thread has amassed 497 comments to date so that is something to aim for. Special encouragement for lurkers to make a comment to let us know who you are, where you come from and so on.
Suggested topics - the Latham diaries, global warming, compulsory voting, the NZ elections, the union movement (that one’s for you Alan), practical ideas for mainstream church people to connect with and minister to people unlike them with out being condescending, advance thoughts about the movie Serenity and just about anything you can think of.
Let the games begin!!
October 11th, 2005 at 10:42 am
You weren’t playing against the world XI this week by any chance, were you rev? Showing your faith while playing cricket?
October 11th, 2005 at 10:45 am
No, just playing in the Barclay St Uniting club’s thirds. I did get my first wicket though. My first chance to bowl and I got a wicket, I think that is worth a prize.
Can I have a “CHristians aren’t perfect they just think they are” bumper sticker? Or does it say something else? I can’t remember
the rev
October 11th, 2005 at 2:54 pm
we don’t need no education
we don’t need no thought control
no dark sarcasms in the classroom
HEY… Preachers - leave those kids alone
From Pink Floyd’s “Christian” tour
October 11th, 2005 at 3:16 pm
rev, I received the first delivery of bumper stickers in the mail last night and I have the perfect one for you. Prizes will be announced shortly.
October 11th, 2005 at 6:25 pm
ttt
October 11th, 2005 at 8:11 pm
“Prizes will be announced shortly.”
Well Dan, in choosing the winners, please take this advice very seriously……What Would Jesus Do?
October 11th, 2005 at 10:33 pm
Doesn’t WWJD stand for “what would Jabez do?”?
October 11th, 2005 at 10:37 pm
WWMMD
what would marilyn manson do?
October 13th, 2005 at 2:16 pm
I’ve got a question.
I was just sitting in the Agora (the central square and hub at LaTrobe Uni- where people eat, there is music and usually heaps of people handing out fliers for different stuff) and having my lunch. There was a small table set up on one side with the sign that said something like “God says you will only live once and then you will face judgement” and then a tshirt saying something like “Make friends, meet Jesus”. Is this supposed to appeal to university students?
October 13th, 2005 at 3:36 pm
*LOL* Oh Laura, I feel your pain, really I do!!
However…I never cease to be surprised by the people that I know who have actually come to faith through the most unlikely things - people who’ve come from non-church hippie activist backgrounds, people who I would have assumed would be completely unlikely to be able to hear the truth in the fundamentalist diatribes of student christian groups. But, people do - I guess it’s proof that God can work through us even if we’re complete…dills.
October 13th, 2005 at 3:57 pm
Bec, It feeds right back into the whole “kitsch christian trinkets” theme, doesn’t it? These attempts to reach out or demonstrate what you believe in that make people (including many christians) want to run kicking and screaming in the opposite direction. And it has a lot to do with things like marketing, much more than basic beliefs. Like Dan’s comment the other day “Can I borrow some gardening tools? And have you met Jesus?”
October 13th, 2005 at 4:06 pm
Oh yeah - and I share your cringing. I’m just saying that after 6+ years spent hanging around student christian groups and cringing almost non-stop, I continue to be surprised by the weird ways in which people come to faith. I’ve seen the most culturally inappropriate things actually ‘work’. I’ve seen the most appalling evangelism methods actually yield results. That doesn’t mean the methods are any less worse than you or I might think they are - I see it proof of the power of Jesus in people’s lives, because as far as I’m concerned, there is no other logical explanation for some of the conversions I’ve witnessed!
October 13th, 2005 at 4:16 pm
lol. Yeah, for sure. It cracks you up, doesn’t it? If I hadn’t been brought up as a christian, I can’t even imagine what my perspective of christianity would be. Probably deep sarcasm and scepticism. Luckily, I learnt about Jesus before I learnt about religion!
October 13th, 2005 at 5:24 pm
[…] allenges for the church Okay, I am going to announce the prizes for commenters on the open comments thread. According to my own rules, I shouldn […]
October 13th, 2005 at 11:37 pm
My friend saw a guy walking crab style on the beach, from one end to another. He asked him what he was doing, and he said, telling people about Jesus. He said, what do you mean. And he said whenever anyone asks what I am doing I tell them about Jesus.
Weirdo
the rev
October 24th, 2005 at 2:39 pm
In Perth last night was the latest installment of the annual event here known as ‘Church Together’.
The idea is that all of Perth’s churches cancel their services for the night, and everyone meets together in a central location in a display of unity.
It usually gets around 15,000 people along, and last night’s effort in Perth’s Supreme Court Gardens was no exception.
There are the standard gushing reviews of the event here
http://www.philbaker.net/comment/2581 which is what you’d expect, because Revenue church has completely hijacked Church Together.
I couldn’t be there myself…which was a good thing as it turned out….but I did speak to someone who was there.
Paul Colman and Wayne Cordeiro probably saved the show …because it wasn’t looking too good for awhile there…I’m told.
There was the cheesy thing they do every year, where they individually name all 150 or so churches that attend, and the variously loud cheers went up from each group as their church’s name was read out.
And there were some Hillsongy-type songs and some hymns mixed in there…. because…..well…that’s what churches are there for…to sing….because……ummmm……Christ died on the cross so we could…..errrr…..sing.
And there was that God-awful moment where each person in the crowd was asked to turn to the person next to them…and ask what church they go to…(at this point I would have asked the crowd to turn to the pastor on stage, and tell him to fuck off).
And there was the ‘next generation worship’…where everything is Xtreme and awesome dude….(I’m trying to type this post while hanging off a stair railing on my skateboard).
Now at one point….Perth’s greatest Penis Enlarger …Geoff Woodward took to the stage….and did an offering talk that went…not 3 minutes, not 5 minutes, not 7 minutes, not 10 minutes, not 12 minutes ..but AT LEAST 15 minutes (the lady who was timing it gave up at 15 minutes). I’m told it felt more like 20 minutes.
Now there were 15,000 people there. Not one of them thought to give Geoff Woodward the slow handclap?
Are church people so battered and emotionally raped by self-serving manipulative guilt trips about money, that anything goes now?
Was anybody else at Church Together who can shed some light on the money shot (glad I wasn’t in the front row)…and the night in general?
To me it reminds me of all the reasons why I don’t go to church in Perth….
It was exactly the same format as 10 years ago…with the same people running it (I thought it was supposed to be ‘church’ together..not Phil Baker’s dickhead mates Together).
If that’s a display of the length and breadth of what the church in Perth does….it’s in a lot of trouble until Baker and co. retire….and the Perth church is forced to have some fresh blood steering the ship.
(Remember, the show was saved by the outsiders from Melbourne and the US).
October 24th, 2005 at 10:24 pm
And I forgot to mention…apparently there were lots of cute guys there from various Perth churches.
October 25th, 2005 at 10:43 am
Crikey, Lance.
Next year the males in the worship bands will all now be required to wear loin cloths - thanks to that comment.
October 25th, 2005 at 1:11 pm
lionfish - if you go, you can go as loinfish
October 25th, 2005 at 2:49 pm
“Next year the males in the worship bands will all now be required to wear loin cloths - thanks to that comment.”
Nah….guys are sexier IN clothes, than out of them. (Can guys stops wearing basketball singlets to church please?)
Doesn’t really answer the question though of whether 20 minute hard-sell manipulative appeals for cash are appropriate at Church Together.
October 25th, 2005 at 3:59 pm
In principle, I agree with the Church Together and Church Unity and recognise that these things need to be funded. Is the offering manipulative? It depends on the wording, which I was not there to witness – though 20 minutes does seem a little heavy.
There are a number of ways of funding these things that could also be explored (maybe they have been….?)
————————
I also meant loincloths over their jeans!
October 25th, 2005 at 4:07 pm
The event was sponsored…but not enough sponsorship to cover costs.
I’d rather pay an entry fee to go the event..rather than sit and have to listen to Geoff Woodward wank on about his financial fantasy life.
What’s wrong with a ’suggested 2 gold coins donation’ at the entrance…?
October 25th, 2005 at 4:44 pm
Church Together bouncers were doing their job diligently on Sunday night..it seems..
More from the comments on Church Together at http://www.philbaker.net/comment/2581
“I happened to witness a scene where a family who were seated behind the “VIP” section (in an area not even cordoned off) were asked to “move” during the latter part of the worship time. When one of the group protested, reinforcements in the form of more ushers were brought in and they were hurriedly bundled off.
It is often at events like “church together” where one would experience the best and the worst of our attitudes and behaviour as followers of Christ.”
October 25th, 2005 at 10:08 pm
What does one have to do to get into the VIP area at a Church based event…?
October 26th, 2005 at 6:50 am
“What does one have to do to get into the VIP area at a Church based event”
Be a pastor in the network of course! Or a weathy giver to the church etc…. Try sitting in the vip area at one particular large conference in Australia & you risk being crash tackled in the aisles.
October 26th, 2005 at 4:36 pm
Some light relief.
Download this if you dare.
http://www.mission316.com/Salvation_Challenge_Intro.wmv
On second thoughts, I DOUBLE dare you.
October 27th, 2005 at 11:29 pm
When the same extended giving sermon began a previous year,
I willingly pulled out 5 bucks. After 10 minutes of poorly constructed arguments why it was in my own interests to give (I thought it was supposed to be a gift to God) I put my money away. This is anti-evangelism, and doesn’t deserve my support.
October 28th, 2005 at 6:52 am
I sat through a large AOG conference many years ago which featured a well known (off the wall) American preacher (one of the early morning TV types). Night after night, the same pattern was followed: after over an hour of singing, the message would start. 30 - 45 minutes later, the singing would start again, and then an awful horror of realisation would creep over me as the bags were then passed around - that was no message, that was only the tithing speil! The hour long message was yet to come.
In NZ, there is a church that has hit the news a lot over the past year or so -Destiny church. Here’s an article that appeared about them last year which comments on the tithing issue - sound similar to some Australian groups?
http://www.norml.org.nz/postt521.html
If you are curious, here’s their official website:
http://www.destinychurch.org.nz/
And here is a parody which they have tried in the past to have shut down:
http://www.densitychurch.org/
January 4th, 2006 at 11:15 pm
I’m sure some people think Queeradio is a dumb name for a radio station, and the main purpose of it at this stage is to bait some pharisees in the church at having a go at me…but that hasn’t happened yet….
Anyhoo….following up from the discussion about Christian radio…..I neglected to post a link to the most inward looking and bone-headed one of the lot… The Fish - Atlanta.
Yes, there really is a Christian radio station called The Fish. 104.7 WFSH to be exact.
http://www.thefishatlanta.com/
‘Safe For The Whole Family.’
And here is their TV commercial.
http://www.thefishatlanta.com/fishtv.ram
A warning. Don’t watch the commercial on the internet in a library because you WILL laugh out loud.
What do YOU think this communicates to the world about the gospel?
Lance.
January 4th, 2006 at 11:56 pm
Some of the most self-absorbed and narcissistic wank from an ego-driven Aussie pastor, who’s building his little local empire, can be found here.
http://www.markobrien.com.au/2006/01/2006_bring_it_on.html
Five years of ‘ministry’ and he can now monitor cash flow effectively.
Woohoo.