church notice bored
This looks like it could be fun:
NoticeBORED is committed to exposing “Church Noticeboards with pithy weekly Quotable Quotes!” They are often an eye-catching genuine attempt to raise visibility… those pithy quotes come with “way too much baggage!” They carry every boomer misgiving, bad experience, and every reason for consigning ‘the church’ to the rich tapestry that is our cultural history.
Send in your shockers.
January 24th, 2006 at 2:52 pm
Excellent! Thanks for this. Great blog, by the way.
Peace,
Jamie Arpin-Ricci
http://www.emergentvoyageurs.blog.com
January 24th, 2006 at 7:41 pm
My favourite has always been:
“Is anxiety killing you… let the church help”
January 25th, 2006 at 9:23 am
Seen on a beautiful old sandstone Anglican church on Sydney’s north shore; “Jesus. the truth decay fairy!” EEEUW!
February 1st, 2006 at 11:36 am
Don’t know how authentic these Freudian slips are:
“…7.00pm - Rev Davies - Note: All welcome at 6.30pm for prayer and medication…”
“…We remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community”
and from church newsletters:
“…The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir….”
“…the church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment and gracious hostility…”
March 11th, 2006 at 9:13 am
The one near me says: “Sign Broken: Message Inside This Sunday”. Groan. That will have people flocking in… NOT.
The rest of these are from an email… (could be an urban myths)… very bad anyway:
“Don’t give up. Moses was once a basket case.”
“Prevent truth decay. Brush up on your Bible.”
“The best vitamin for a Christian is B1.”
“Under same management for over 2000 years.”
“Soul food served here.”
“Tithe if you love Jesus! Anyone can honk!”
“Beat the Christmas rush, come to church this Sunday!”
“Don’t wait for the hearse to take you to church.”
“Life has many choices, Eternity has two. What’s yours?”
“Worry is interest paid on trouble before it is due.”
“Wal-Mart isn’t the only saving place!”
“Preach the gospel at all times. Use words if necessary.”
“It’s hard to stumble when you’re down on your knees.”
“What part of ‘THOU SHALT NOT’ don’t you understand?”
“A clear conscience makes a soft pillow.”
“The wages of sin is death. Repent before payday.”
“Never give the devil a ride. He will always want to drive.”
“Can’t sleep? Try counting your blessings.”
“Forbidden fruit creates many jams.”
“Christians, keep the faith…but not from others!”
“Satan subtracts and divides. God adds and multiplies.”
“If you don’t want to reap the fruits of sin stay out of the devil’s orchard.”
“To belittle is to be little.”
“Don’t let the littleness in others bring out the littleness in you.”
“God answers kneemail.”
“Try Jesus. If you don’t like Him, the devil will always take you back.”
April 25th, 2006 at 11:20 am
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