Those flingin flangin emerging churches
Greg the explorer sent me a link to this article which seems concerned to put several nails in the coffin of the emerging church:
In the UK, a nudist beach mission has just finished in Wales. Graceway, a church in Auckland, New Zealand, encouraged its members to ‘pray with your hand around a cup of coffee’ as a way of experiencing the Spirit ‘as warmth in your spirituality’. In Canada, a church called Worship Free House doesn’t offer sermons – but does install art.
According to prominent evangelical church leaders, all are symptomatic of a dangerous protest against biblical orthodoxy. While The Da Vinci Code puts the gospel on trial, the emerging church questions established biblical teaching throughout church history by offering what they says is a more authentic expression of Christianity.
“Some believe [emerging churches] to be the greatest challenge to mainstream churches since the birth of the Charismatic movement,” says Andy Peck, assistant editor of the UK’s Christianity+Renewal magazine in a recent article. “As some churches struggle to grow they will welcome emerging church thinking with open arms. ”Labels are useless to describe this alternative Christian movement, which has exploded out of the UK and the US and is now expanding into Australia.
Proponents like to talk in terms of ‘connecting’, ‘sharing’, ‘re-imagining’. They say the movement is not one as such but rather a ‘conversation’ within Protestant Christianity. They say labels are unhelpful to their cause. It is perhaps easier to define what the emergent movement is not. “This is not biblical theology,” says Canon Jim Ramsay, Director of Sydney Diocese’s Evangelism Ministries. “It’s a shaking of Christian orthodoxy.”
Punch ‘em in the goolies!! Singled out for criticism (implied or otherwise) are people like Cheryl, Steve (or Graceway, anyway), Darren and of course big bad bustling Brian McLaren. Interestingly, the only person on that list who has never commented here is Brian McLaren. He should get his act together. Or alternatively, he should stay away so that he doesn’t contaminate us with his non-orthodox Christianity.
Of course they are particularly worried about a Wales naturist beach mission, described here in an article published on April Fools’ Day, complete with founders Adam and Eve and a Sir Pent who invites Eve to pass some fruit to Adam. Clearly the site which published the article, emergingchurch.info is evil, as it has the temerity to list signposts as a link!
August 1st, 2006 at 4:08 pm
so true blestpickle, except that all the single guys seem to end up with the really young women (or at least so my female friends over forty keep telling me, and looking at my female friends in their 20s, I’d have to say that I think they’re probably right!!)
Reve - I agree with you, as far as big churches go. In my experience small churches are a whole other ball game - they’re much easier to get involved in earlier on. In big churches, if you don’t know significant people, it’s pretty hard to meet anyone…
August 1st, 2006 at 4:12 pm
hehehehehehehehe…now this is how a community works - working together, supporting, caring, slinging shit and getting the robtos to crawl all over the revs email address. Rev if you get any good manhood extension emails can you forward them to me please!!
August 1st, 2006 at 4:30 pm
the word has gotten out the I have problems with impotence and that my manhood is still stuck in boyhood
rev
August 1st, 2006 at 4:40 pm
LOL! That sounds more like a gay paedophile to me …
August 1st, 2006 at 4:50 pm
now, I wish I had an edit button
I meant that, well, ummmm, uhhhh
that ummmmm
nevermind
I aint no pedo
rev
August 1st, 2006 at 4:55 pm
That’s ok!
I’m about to go off to college, and I promise not to tell a soul!!! ;D
August 1st, 2006 at 6:05 pm
I had to re-read the revs comments in the light of blest’s comments and then I laughed my as off! edit indeed - publish and be damned!!!!
August 1st, 2006 at 6:17 pm
So….old guys can get young chicks at your church Bec? Ahm….just so i can critique your pastors theology….where might this church be…jus wunnerin’
August 1st, 2006 at 6:28 pm
Older guys can’t pick up younger chicks at my church, ofcourse my daughters are younger chicks, and they really can’t be picked up at all. Atleast not by anyone who doesn’t have a death wish.
rev
August 2nd, 2006 at 9:26 am
I wouldn’t dream of even looking at your daughters sideways let alone in any obvious manner…
August 2nd, 2006 at 9:52 am
thats why you can be my friend.
rev
August 2nd, 2006 at 12:48 pm
A man is driving down the road and his car breaks
down near a monastery.
He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and
says, “My car broke down. Do you think I could stay
the night?”
The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner,
even fix his car.
As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange
sound. A sound not Like anything he’s ever heard
before. The Sirens that nearly seduced Odysseus
into crashing his ship comes to his mind.
He doesn’t sleep that night. He tosses and turns
trying to figure out what could possibly be making
such a seductive sound.
The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound
was, but they say, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a
monk.”
Distraught, the man is forced to leave.
Years later, after never being able to forget that
sound, the man goes back to the monastery and pleads
for the answer again.
The monks reply, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a
monk.”
The man says, “If the only way I can find out what is
making that beautiful sound is to become a monk, then please, make me
a monk.”
The monks reply, “You must travel the earth and tell
us how many blades of grass there are and the exact
number of grains of sand. When you find these answers,
you will have become a monk.”
The man sets about his task.
After years of searching he returns as a gray-haired
old man and knocks on the door of the monastery. A
monk answers. He is taken before a gathering of all
the monks.
“In my quest to find what makes that beautiful
sound, I traveled the earth and have found what you
asked for:
By design, the world is in a state of perpetual
change. Only God knows what you ask. All a man can
know is himself, and only then if he is honest and
reflective and willing to strip away self deception.”
The monks reply, “Congratulations. You have become a
monk. We shall now show you the way to the mystery of
the sacred sound.”
The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the
head monk says, “The sound is beyond that door.”
The monks give him the key, and he opens the door.
Behind the wooden door is another door made of
stone.
The man is given the key to the stone door and he
opens it, only to find a door made of ruby.
And so it went that he needed keys to doors of
emerald, pearl and diamond.
Finally, they come to a door made of solid gold. The
sound has become very clear and definite. The monks
say, “This is the last key to the last door.”
The man is apprehensive to no end. His life’s wish
is behind that door!
With trembling hands, he unlocks the door, turns the
knob, and slowly pushes the door open. Falling to his
knees, he is utterly amazed to discover the source of
that haunting and seductive sound……
August 2nd, 2006 at 1:47 pm
dont you think the rev’s daughters are worth looking at greg?
August 2nd, 2006 at 2:28 pm
Oh yeah…I’m going to answer that one.
Now ask me about his wife or female relatives and maybe we’ve got a conversation!
August 2nd, 2006 at 2:41 pm
finish the story
August 2nd, 2006 at 3:35 pm
Uhm…abtruth…where’d you go?
August 2nd, 2006 at 4:12 pm
finish the story, now
August 2nd, 2006 at 4:21 pm
So how did the beginning of the story go?
You do know I’m ripping it up you don’t you…Your female relatives hold no call on my attentions…your wife however…
August 2nd, 2006 at 5:33 pm
Okay if this is some lesson I am not getting it.
How does the damn story end?
rev
August 2nd, 2006 at 11:31 pm
Rev,
“We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.”
August 3rd, 2006 at 8:54 am
What Veritas said!!!!
August 3rd, 2006 at 10:16 pm
Very funny
I hate you all
rev
August 3rd, 2006 at 11:18 pm
You guys are a crack up.
August 4th, 2006 at 11:10 am
I as actually hoping to get more peopoe than just the rev - but rev…you are a prize among prizes!!! *:)*
August 4th, 2006 at 11:11 am
:
:
August 4th, 2006 at 11:43 am
I will remember this when I come to NSW oh yes I will.
rev
August 4th, 2006 at 12:17 pm
Bec,
Re #151, Where exactly is your church?
I can’t lose!
August 4th, 2006 at 12:43 pm
I trembling rev…absolutely trembling
August 4th, 2006 at 1:00 pm
work on running a hundred metre’s without stopping, as that is fifty more than I can do.
You’ll be right mate
rev
August 4th, 2006 at 1:27 pm
A long time ago I could have done that…now I’m falt out watching someopne else do it!