NT for Lent 21 - 1 Peter 3
In an episode which is bound to be a lot of fun for the wives and husbands among us, we have 1 Peter 3.
Wives and Husbands
1Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. 4Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 5For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, 6like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.
7Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.Suffering for Doing Good
8Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. 9Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. 10For,
“Whoever would love life
and see good days
must keep his tongue from evil
and his lips from deceitful speech.
11He must turn from evil and do good;
he must seek peace and pursue it.
12For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous
and his ears are attentive to their prayer,
but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”
13Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? 14But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. “Do not fear what they fear; do not be frightened.” 15But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, 16keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander. 17It is better, if it is God’s will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil. 18For Christ died for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God. He was put to death in the body but made alive by the Spirit, 19through whom also he went and preached to the spirits in prison 20who disobeyed long ago when God waited patiently in the days of Noah while the ark was being built. In it only a few people, eight in all, were saved through water, 21and this water symbolizes baptism that now saves you also—not the removal of dirt from the body but the pledge of a good conscience toward God. It saves you by the resurrection of Jesus Christ, 22who has gone into heaven and is at God’s right hand—with angels, authorities and powers in submission to him.
March 16th, 2007 at 8:54 am
I remember years ago being at an internal spiritual retreat and watching a lovely lady who had a non-Christian husband burst into tears about this passage - about all the times that she had tried to be submissive to her husband to help him to become Christian as the bible says to. In doing so she had been desperately unhappy and it had not had any effect towards changing his beliefs and she was distraught.
March 16th, 2007 at 8:44 pm
Yes Dan
And what of those desparately unhappy wives who try to be more and more submissive to a husband who uses this passage to induce guilt in his wife and uses it as a means of control and a defence against abuse. And those in the church who don’t defend an abused wife because they say “just be submissive and you will win him over and be blessed by staying because God hates divorce”.
March 17th, 2007 at 8:31 am
I think it’s a bit to do with confusing a general principle with a “promise”.
As a general principle, “purity and reverence of your lives” is far more winsome for Christ than nagging and badgering. But there’s no guarantees that a life of goodness will lead someone to faith if they’re just not interested.
I think any church that dares to teach “submission of wives” (and I know some that do) are obliged to teach when wives should NOT submit. Women have died as a result of physical abuse, having been “counselled” by pastors to keep loving their abusive spouse, so the spouse will change. What crap. Just means they keep getting away with it.
Although I think that submission of wives is probably analogous to submission of slaves to their masters (important for sheer survival in the 1st century, not so relevant today!) reading the rather lowbrow “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” gave me pause for thought. It was arguing most men feel the need to feel competent… most women feel the need to be loved. It made me think although Christians should avoid legalism in all its forms, perhaps the best way to bless most men is to say “I trust you to make this decision” (I believe you are competent), while the best way to bless most women is to express love (I really adore you). Maybe Paul was on to something…
Still, I remember reading someone who researched this found most happy marriages that claimed they believed in submission of wives were actually egalitarian in practice!
March 17th, 2007 at 7:31 pm
I read that same book, and I find it’s very true! Most of the happily married people I know would say, “Oh, yes I believe in submission, but…” and when it comes down to the nuts and bolts of it they really only ever submit to each other, not the wife to the husband. I find this passage hard, because marriage is a partnership, surely? Another friend once said too that the position of women in the Bible basically started as nothing in the beginning (after the fall) but gradually gets better and better as we go along…so maybe there’s an argument that we’re still in the process of getting to our ultimate goal, which is true equality and submission to one another, regardless of sex, in love.