I’m feeling a lot better these past few days..simply by not focusing on these issues and getting on with life.

Hillsong don’t give a shit about you. Worse, they will think you are “dangerous” because you are a thinking person … I know its a cliche - but you have esacped from the “Matrix”. That takes courage.

I have found my friends are those guys from school and those from work and those from my old mainstream Church …

You will only ever have as many close friends at any one time as fingers you can count on one hand.

You have my email, and if you ever want to chat - just email me and I will send you my numbers. Like many other people here I empathise with what you atre going through.

You will come through - like I said before … wiser and stronger.

for what it’s worth - coming as it does from a disembodied voice in cyberspace! - I can understand your pain and I’ve really appreciated getting to “know” you a little bit on Signposts. You always come across as a top bloke. I don’t think you sound like a victim - I don’t think I’ve ever been “a victim” - I’ve sought ALWAYS to take responsibility for my emotions and I’ve also taken the initiative on numerous occasions. Unfortunately many of the people I’ve needed/wanted to respond haven’t/couldn’t do so. I don’t really understand why. I’ve sometimes wondered whether it’s because it opens up too many difficult issues for them…I mean, if someone like BH was to sit down with Tanya Levin and REALLY listen, it would be quite painful for him, right?

I also think that those who take personal responsibility and the initiative get the double whammy here (which is why I question fabio and FaceLift’s suggestions that there are good reasons why communication breaks down when people leave). I know that some people “slip through” the gaps because they appear so resilient in terms of emotional stability and social networks…basically each individual assumes that they’re “not needed” or that someone else is “dealing with it”.

My best friends these days are not my church friends. it is a group of friends from uni that cross many different denominations and views on the world. We hang out regularly and our friendships have always been bigger than the church world.

I’m trying to think of friends from my five years of Hillsong who have taken the initiative with me in the past two years.

Hmm. One. Sort of.

The count is over…oh…just to show I’m not living in a victim mentality; how many times did I take the initiative with people there in the last two years? Dependinghow you count it, maybe a dozen or more.

maybe i’m just bad at making friends, and people don’t really like me as a person….

Hmm…my high school friends (when I was only at that school for four years) we still meet up occassionally…also, my friends from uni are tight and there’s no room for ‘just keeping up appearances’ with that crew.

So….i have taken the initiative, several groups at least enjoy my company/seek me out…..Hillsongers havent bothered….

Interesting.

Sounds like Derryn Hinch’ “2 Week All Bran Challenge”.

Maybe we could advertise the Hillsong Challenge in the same way?

Why not take the 40 day Hillsong challenge, fabio. Dont turn up for 40 days and see how many people call you. It may be enlightening.

No. Tanya advised them she was writing a book and asked to catch up with them to discuss. She had no response.